She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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