I've blown a few things in my day
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
