dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize