Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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