i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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