I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize