Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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