Define "chronic" masturbator.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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