It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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