are you so shy because you have an std?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize