my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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