like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Are we still banned from the library?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
