Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
