I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
