so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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