I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
