Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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