Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do ugly people know they are ugly?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  The quiet ones do.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Do ugly people know they are ugly? (1-202): The quiet ones do. http://tfl.nu/129a
  Replies (25) Good night (2257) Bad night (2471)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw
  Replies (21) Good night (948) Bad night (7035)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (6124) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5698) Bad night (1602)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy? http://tfl.nu/iupy
  Replies (20) Good night (1405) Bad night (3462)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot http://tfl.nu/u2s7
  Replies (8) Good night (4441) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now http://tfl.nu/f08u
  Replies (20) Good night (3149) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture? http://tfl.nu/g8fq
  Replies (4) Good night (897) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities. http://tfl.nu/q7gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1616) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life. http://tfl.nu/y2ti
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth. http://tfl.nu/otea
  Replies (9) Good night (2407) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't. http://tfl.nu/uo1x
  Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style. (630): also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns? http://tfl.nu/rnwg
  Replies (19) Good night (776) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake http://tfl.nu/burq
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (352)

Randomize