Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics

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  (740): Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics http://tfl.nu/20pv
  Replies (3) Good night (2040) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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  (253): Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life. http://tfl.nu/h3s9
  Replies (33) Good night (4971) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.

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  (785): First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success. http://tfl.nu/aon2
  Replies (13) Good night (5978) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.

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  (201): I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork. http://tfl.nu/8epk
  Replies (16) Good night (1195) Bad night (5256)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

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  (215): best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load" http://tfl.nu/n15m
  Replies (20) Good night (5088) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.

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  (205): I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology. http://tfl.nu/8ghc
  Replies (18) Good night (1213) Bad night (4047)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again

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  (360): super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again http://tfl.nu/5apw
  Replies (37) Good night (1878) Bad night (5366)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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  (425): Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight. http://tfl.nu/mywq
  Replies (14) Good night (5706) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.

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  (+44): Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here. http://tfl.nu/0a2t
  Replies (7) Good night (2474) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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  (727): Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk http://tfl.nu/ccms
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD

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  (404): I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD http://tfl.nu/5vxn
  Replies (20) Good night (922) Bad night (5826)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

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  (631): He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club. http://tfl.nu/hcoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2738) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work

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  (773): He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work http://tfl.nu/kpsp
  Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.

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  (407): You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend. http://tfl.nu/k9ll
  Replies (2) Good night (963) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  You've ruined popcorn for me.

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  (240): This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave. (1-240): You've ruined popcorn for me. http://tfl.nu/2sk4
  Replies (7) Good night (873) Bad night (620)

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