So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
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No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.