I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.