Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (986) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

  (1-619): View more from California

  You literally just made my flesh crawl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter. (1-619): You literally just made my flesh crawl. http://tfl.nu/h7tg
  Replies (32) Good night (2160) Bad night (1208)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't read that magazine bro. I came in it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): don't read that magazine bro. I came in it http://tfl.nu/xo8s
  Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (3755)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha, bad night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS. (508): Haha, bad night? http://tfl.nu/huzs
  Replies (144) Good night (1506) Bad night (16958)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER. http://tfl.nu/3m46
  Replies (23) Good night (2262) Bad night (3808)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved http://tfl.nu/a9c7
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (1542)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
  Replies (10) Good night (3565) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up. http://tfl.nu/kbsr
  Replies (0) Good night (1285) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type. http://tfl.nu/n4gn
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen? http://tfl.nu/ijzr
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): 2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here. http://tfl.nu/53p6
  Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Where's Taylor bro?

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Never mind found him under the sink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Where's Taylor bro? (864): Never mind found him under the sink http://tfl.nu/2ttk
  Replies (0) Good night (803) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any? http://tfl.nu/zra6
  Replies (4) Good night (405) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over. http://tfl.nu/a38d
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (261)

Randomize