she smelled like a LAN party
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Maybe he injected his testicle?