remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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