I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize