she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
