Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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