I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
