I think my vagina is haunted
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
