using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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