something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
