Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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