god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
