My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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