Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
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Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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