I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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