I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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