I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You are the jesus of drinking
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
