I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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