He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
