soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
