TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
