ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
