Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize