I could make wine with my vomit
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize