We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
