Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize