you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
