You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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