I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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