Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
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