can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
