everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
