Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
