after a month anything with tits is on the radar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
