I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
