yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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