mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
accomplished twins. life is a go
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
