Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
