Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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